the annual: "settling."

thursday, december 29th, 2022.

One of the things I had on my wiki for a brief time a few years ago was a thing called "the annual." I kept it in the "personal tracker" section on the front page. It was equal parts a year in review and new year's resolutions all in one go. There's a thread on the Merveilles forum right now that touches on the topic. At any rate, I decided to bring the annual back to my wiki!

This year's theme, I think, is "settling." Like the rippling waters of a pond that someone has tossed a rock into. Clarity, once stilled again.

2022 in review.

2022 has been a year of change for me. In October 2021, my coparent and I stopped cohabiting and I moved into an apartment on my own. I had a few relationships of my own, and fell in love with my partner. They're such a joy in my life! I love spending time with them, going on adventures, playing and solving problems together— I could just gush on and on, but that'll be for another day, I think. :)

We've moved in together! My apartment lease came up for renewal with a $150/month rate increase and I decided to be done with paying someone else's mortgage. We found a little brick house built in the 1960s that's been recently updated. It's in good working order, it's in a quiet wooded area in the heart of our town, and it's in walking distance to a lovely city park with a mile-long walking trail.

So here we are! It's a little past 7:00am as I write this, my partner's dad has come visit for the holidays, and all three of our children are here. Once everyone's awake, I'll cook us up a big breakfast and I think we'll go bowling this afternoon.

To say my heart is full would be an understatement. I didn't expect things would look anything like this last year, but I'm sure glad they do!

2023, setting intentions.

With all the change the last year has brought, my habits have been in turbulent waters as well. My sleep schedule is all sorts of whack, my diet and exercise haven't been the best, I scroll on the internet more and I meditate less.

So, my intentions for 2023 will be to settle that tumult and work towards building better habits that bring the idealized version of myself and the real version of myself closer together.

Who, then, do I want to be? What do I look like when the water does finally settle?

I'd like to be a little more mindful of the choices I make. I'm currently in a sort of autopilot state, but not on a course of my own choosing. More like riding the rails of an amusement park ride. One of easy, convenient decisions.

I don't think it's particularly likely that I'll succeed at changing everything all in one go. I'm in my late 30s and experience tells me that habits are very difficult things to change. Rather than change everything all at once, what are some things I'd like to do? Here's a few:

Next year, I'll revisit these intentions and see just how well I fared— hopefully well!